


That’s the way Michael Mell crumbles

by ArtlessWaffle



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Deal With It, Depressed Michael, F/F, F/M, Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Michael, M/M, Michael may or may not be ooc, Oblivious Jeremy, Pining Michael, Protective Jeremy, Sad Michael, idk how to tag, smol michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtlessWaffle/pseuds/ArtlessWaffle
Summary: Michael is big gay





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyooo guess who’s back.  
> After some... long consideration I’ve decided to redo the entire thing.  
> I’ve been looking to change a lot of things but I still haven’t gotten my head around most of it.
> 
> Anyway, hope ou enjoy it. He

Michael is just your average teenager. Nothing special about him. He smokes pot, plays video game, hangs out with his newfound group of friends. He would say he has a good life. Other than having flowers in his lungs.

Michael has been coughing up those red hibiscuses since 7th grade, so it’s become an everyday lifestyle for him.

There’s also another problem. He has feelings for his best friend, Jeremy. His, very straight, best friend who is currently in a relationship with none other than Christine Canigula.

Michael still loves Jeremy with all his heart, but he can’t tell him because he doesn’t want to ruin their relationship. He’s fine with just being friends even if it will eventually kill him in the end.

Nobody but Michael, and his mom, knows that he is slowly dying, despite his mother’s wishes for him to have surgery. He can’t leave his mother like his father but he doesn’t want to forget the love he has for Jeremy. 

He will always love Jeremy. Even till the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions on what I should do feel free to dm on my instagram 
> 
> artless.waffle


	2. Chapter 2

Michael’s eyes was kept on the ceiling which was lighted by the rising sun dripping into his room from his windows.

Tick-Tock.

His alarm would go off in 1 hour so there’s no use in going to sleep now. Michael would be lucky if he could even sleep for more than 4 hours.

Due to his… “condition” Michael could hardly breathe which meant he could barely fall asleep without waking up feeling like he was drowning.

Michael got up and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He grabbed his glasses and started getting ready to head out to school. The school he disliked with a burning passion. Michael put his favorite oversized hoodie and headed towards the bathroom. 

He looked in the mirror at the tired figure in front of him. It instantly reminded him of the party…He felt his throat clench and started coughing all over the counter. He didn’t look at the petals in surprise, nor the blood. He was use to it by now. He brushed his teeth but realized he forgot about breakfast only after brushing. He mentally cursed before grabbing his backpack and heading out.

He got in his PT Cruiser and started the engine. While waiting for his car to warm up and plugged his phone into the aux and started playing some random playlist on his phone. He finally after a couple of minutes pulled out of his driveway and proceeded to drive to school.

—

When he finally pulled into the school parking lot and turned off the car and laid back into his seat.  
School didn’t start for another good 20 minutes so no use in going in yet.

Michael closed his eyes. He couldn’t fall asleep but at least he could give his eyes a rest. 

A couple of minutes later his eyes shot open to a loud banging on his car. He was sure he let out a not so manly scream. He looked out of the passenger side window to find the one and only Rich Goranski. Michael unlocked his car which meant for Rich it was okay to hop in.

“Hey Michael, my bro-man.” Rich said enthusiastically. Too much energy is radiating off of him. More than Michael can handle. He never knew someone could be so energetic in the morning. 

“Hey Rich.” Michael yawned in return. He couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous towards the walking ball of energy. 

“You look like shit dude, did you even get a wink of sleep?” Rich asked, a hint of concern can be heard in his voice and it made Michael smile. “I mean, seriously. Why are you even here so early?”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same thing.” Rich’s cheeks turned pink and Michael knew that he was here early so he and Jake could finally make out at school. “So where is Jake anyway?”

Rich started giggling like a little girl. “Ooh you mean my HAWT new boyfriend Jake? He just had to go take a piss.” Michael snorted. Jake and Rich has been pining after each other for so long it was honestly sickening. If it wasn’t for Michael, and his godly ways they would’ve never realized that they both had feelings for each other.

“So, what have you and Jake been doing other than dry humping each other’s legs?” Rich laughed and turned bright red. “Oh you know, talking… the usual” Rich replied. “Anyway enough about me, what about you and your boyf?”

Michael blushed and felt both his heart and throat squeeze. “I’ve told you before Rich, me a Jeremy are not dating. Beside, Jeremy has a girlfriend.” Michael groaned. Michael accidentally let it slip to Rich that he had a crush of Jeremy and now he just won’t let it go. Rich rolled his eyes.

“Either way, my boyfriend is done pissing so I better skedaddle out of here. Have fun.” Rich scurried out and shut the door while running to his boyfriend. Michael watched as they both headed to the back of the school. Most likely to make out.

When they were out of sight Michael started hacking up the petals into is hand that was crawling its way up his throat. After his coughing fit he look at his hands the had blood blood and flower petals on them. He let his hands drop the flowers onto the floor of his car. Nobody would see them anyway. Jeremy stopped riding with him after he and Christine started dating. Jeremy decided to ride the bus with her now.

It made Michael angry. Not at his best friend or Christine, but at himself. He was mad at himself for wanting to be mad at Christine, not the he was mad her. He could never mad her, she was too sweet.

School was about to start so Michael got out and locked his car. Students was starting to flow in so Michael wiped the specks of blood off of his hands and walked alongside the others.


	3. Chapter 3

Walking into school was the least of Michael’s problems. It was surviving the whole week with Jeremy and Christine he was worried about. Well, mostly Jeremy.

Michael sighed to himself. This is gonna be a long week.

He looked around and saw Jeremy walk into the class which they both shared. Michael turned around and walked the other way.

When he turned a corner to the bathroom he accidentally bumped into someone, making them drop their books. “Ah, fuck I’m sorry.” Michael said while trying to frantically pick up the books.

“Michael, it’s okay it was a accident.” Michael froze when he heard the sweet but energetic voice speak. He looked up to see Brooke and her girlfriend Chloe.

“Oh, hey guys. Wasn’t expecting to bump into you guys. I thought you were in class.” Michael rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Speaking of which, why aren’t you in class?” Chloe asked, hands on her hip. “Are you going to the bathroom?”

“Oh uh, no no I just forgot which way is all.” Michael waved his hands while Chloe gave him the ‘you’re not fooling anyone’ look.

“Riight, well since we’re all here together let’s all three walk to class.” Chloe said throwing an arm around Michael’s neck which was fairly easy considering she was taller than him. Brooke grabbed Chloe’s other hand and the trio started to walk to their classroom. 

Now Michael doesn’t like people other than people who he is close with to touch him. It just makes him feel awkward. But ever since spending the week with the two girls he’s grown comfortable around them. They were talking about their crushes in which Michael came out to them about being gay and having a crush on his best friend.  
It was an emotional roller coaster.

They, and by they I mean mostly Brooke and Chloe were talking about random things while Michael said something here in there.

As they were walking in Michael forgot about Jeremy. That was until Brooke said something that was slightly embarrassing about Chloe which made him laugh. A little too loud. Soon the three were all in a laughing fit.

“What’s so funny guys?” Jeremy asked from his seat, looking back behind him at the trio.

Michael felt his heart jump as he abruptly stopped laughing. “Oh uh, just at something Brooke said, no big deal.” He replied. He main objective was to act normal. Just act normal.

“Since when were you three so close?” Jeremy asked, and he could’ve swore the Jeremy had just pouted. Which the can’t be right, right?

“Oh, you know. After hanging out for an entire week alone you get to know a person.” Chloe said wrapping her arms around Michael neck again.

“Yeah it’s like we’ve been best friends for forever.” Brook chipped in, linking her arms around Michael’s arm.

Jeremy flinched. “When did you guys get to hang out for a week?” Jeremy’s voice cracked when he spoke. “A-and best friends? I thought I was you best friend Michael!” Brooke and Chloe smirked as they both kissed Michael’s cheeks, which made Jeremy a speechless stuttering mess. “Michael why aren’t you stopping them?” 

Michael sheepishly chuckled. “I’ve gotten use to them by now.” Just them the bell ringed and Brooke and Chloe had no choice but to let go.

It was halfway through class when Jeremy passed him a note when the teachers back was turned.

He grabbed the small piece of paper and unfolded it ‘Hey Michael, do you wanna hang out later today at your place?’ Michael studied the note and debated on whether or not he should. There is a chance Jeremy might find out his hanahaki but they haven’t really hung out in a awhile since….

Michael started coughing, probably a little too loudly but the was the least of his problems.  
He looked shocked at the flower in his hands. He instantly shoved it in his hoodie pocket hoping nobody saw.

He raised his hand which stopped the teacher on the spot “C-can I got to the bathroom, please?”

————————————

Flashback to 13 year-old Michael who was sitting and waiting on his best friends doorstep. This had become their routine. Michael would walk to Jeremy’s house and then walk to the bus stop with him. 

Michael sighed. He didn’t particularly care about waiting for his friend. Jeremy had always told him he could wait inside be he always declined. Even Michael doesn’t know why.

Part of him thinks it’s because of his crush on Jeremy. But that couldn’t be it… could it?

Michael was lost in thought so when Jeremy came out he didn’t notice. “Hey Michael, were you waiting long?” Jeremy asked, making Michael yelp as he stood upright and almost fell. He would’ve if Jeremy didn’t catch him.

“Oh, hey Jer-bear! I-I wasn’t waiting long, nOpe! Not at all.” Michael stuttered out. His face flushed with embarrassment, he could only hope Jeremy doesn’t notice.

“Uhh, Michael? Your face is turning pink. A-are you sick? D-do you have a cold or a fever? Oh god you should’ve told me I-I wouldn’t have let you come.” Jeremy said frantically. He had always been like this. A worrywort. He would freak out if even the littlest of things happened to Michael. He was also kind of protective of Michael. Not that he was complaining about that.

Michael chuckled and rubbed his neck. “I’m fine Jer, seriously. You worry too much.” Michael replied, walking to the bus stop knowing Jeremy would follow him. “You’re like a mama bird.”

“How can I not worry? You always say you’re fine when I know you aren’t Michael. We’ve know each other for so long so I can read your brain.” Jeremy itches his arms over his cardigan, glancing at Michael from time to time. “Besides, you’re always getting yourself hurt or sick.”

When they finally got to the bus stop, they waited in silence.

It was true that Michael had a weaker immune system than most kids his age so he had to take a good amount of allergy pills. It was also true that Michael would lie about being okay. He never want someone to worry about him but Jeremy is always stubborn. “Maybe I’m the stubborn one.” He mumbled. 

Jeremy just looked at Michael, who was just staring at the asphalt beneath him. Jeremy felt the urge to comfort his friend. To let him know that he’s there for him. He was about to say something when the bus interrupted him.

They got on and both gravitated to the far back of the bus. Luckily no one was there.

When they sat down Jeremy noticed Michael’s hands shaking. It made since that Michael would be anxious about the first day of school. 

Jeremy instinctively grabbed his hand which made Michael tense up. “I’m scared too Michael but at least we have each other.” Jeremy squeezes his hand tighter. Michael felt heart beat in his throat and relaxed. “ I’m here for you.” 

Michael smiled. “Thanks, but we should really stop holding hands before someone notices.” Jeremy looked down and noticed that their hand were intertwined. He instantly let go like it he just touched an oven burner.

Michael snickered. His heart never stopped pounding in his chest.

After sometime of getting everything situated, Michael and Jeremy sat down in their first class of today. Their teacher was spouting on and on about the new school year, which none of the kids bothered to pay attention to.

“Ah, right class, I almost forgot! We have a new student this year.” The overly excited teacher stated, which made Michael piqued up. A new student? Why would anyone wanna transfer here? Michael looked to Jeremy, who was to the left of him, and was just as interested in this as he was. 

The teacher opened the door and a girl with short black hair walked in. “Everyone this is Christine Canigula. She just transferred her from a nearby school so treat her well.” 

Michael looked over her well. She was a little tense, which was understandably. Michael would probably die in he had to stand up in front of the whole class. But at the same time she looked confident. Some Michael will never be.

The teacher told her go sit down which luckily for him was next to Michael. As she sat down she made a slight wave to him. “Uh, hi. I’m Christine. What’s your name?” She asked sweetly.

“I-I’m Michael.” He said just loud enough for her to hear. She smiled which made Michael smile slightly too. She was nice. That was one of the first pleasant conversations he had with someone other than Jeremy.

Before Christine could say anymore one of the girl in front of her got her attention and then they started having a conversation.

It was nice while it lasted. Michael glanced over to Jeremy. That was the gravest mistake for him. He felt his heart clench with pain as he saw that look on Jeremy’s face. That look. Michael knows that look. It’s the look he gives Jeremy when he’s not looking.

Jeremy, his best friend. His crush. Was in love with the new girl.

Michael all of a sudden could barely breathe. He didn’t understand why. He knew his best friend would eventually find someone he loved, so why did it hurt so much?

Michael raised his hand, which grabbed the attention of the teacher. “C-can I go to the bathroom, please?”

The teacher said yes and Michael had never ran as fast as he did to the bathroom.

Michael ran into one of the stalls and started heaving into the toilet. He wanted to erase the face Jeremy made. That look. He wished he never knew it. And as much as he hate it, he was mad at Christine. He knew she didn’t do anything wrong. Michael didn’t need to talk to Christine to know she was a nice person. But he still wanted to hate her.

Michael looked down into the toilet. To his horror there was petals in it. 

Michael pushed himself back in shock. He covered his mouth. He knew exactly what this meant. He saw his mom coughing up petals before. A couple of weeks after his dad left.

He then felt hot tears fall from his face. He wanted to disappear that day. To not exist. 

After a few minutes of standing there and got up and flushed the toilet. He stood there, watching the petals go down the drain.

He walked out. But not to his class room but to the nurses office.

It was hard to tell his mom that her sweet little angel had hanahaki.


	4. Chapter 4

Michael doesn’t remember much after he asked to use the bathroom. He doesn’t even remember walking to it. But what he does know is that he is now coughing up blood and flowers.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been hovering over the toilet for. He didn’t notice or hear the two people in the stall next to him.His mind was in a blank state.

“Uh, dude? You okay in there?” A familiar voice asked. Michael looked up and around. Right. He was in a bathroom stall. Luckily he unconsciously locked the door. “You’ve been in there for a pretty long while… are you dying?”

Technically he is dying, so yes. But the voice was oh so familiar. Michael couldn’t pin it. “R-rich?” Michael croaked out in a hoarse voice. His mind was still blurry. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the flowers or blood. It was most likely both.

“M...Michael?” Rich replied in a shock. He’s never heard Michael so…. sick before. Rich looked to Jake worriedly. Jake too had a look of concern on his face. “Michael are you okay? Do you Uh, do you think you could come out?”

Michael just groaned in pain, which sent the alarms off in both of his friends. “Michael can you move or get up?” Jake asked, stepping in front of Michael’s stall. He just hummed no and Jake looked at Rich for the okay.

Rich looked at Jake and nodded. Hopefully the damage would be too much. And the Michael wasn’t directly in front of the door. Jake backed up to the sinks and in full ramming speed hit the door with his shoulder. It hurt but it broke the lock on the door in one go.

Rich grabbed the door and pulled it open.

——————————

“Get out of my way, loser” those were the words which made Michael’s heart shatter. 

Jeremy shoved Michael out of the doorway forcefully with his shoulder, almost knocking Michael to the ground. Jeremy then slammed the door.

Michael stood there, in a state of shock. What just happened you may ask? Well Jeremy fuck boy Mcgee just ditched his “best friend” at a party he doesn’t even want to be at for a wintergreen tic tac. He only came to warn Jeremy and yet he didn’t even listen. He didn’t even try to listen to his best friend.

Michael leaned back on the door and slid down. He was doing nothing until loud knocking made Michael jump into reality. “HELLO? Some of us have to pee!” A voice stated.

“I’m having my period.” Michael replied. Too tired to think of anything else to say. 

“Take your time honey.”

Michael will take his time. To relish in the fact that his friendship was basically a fucking lie. His emotions was swirling like a vortex. He was both angry and sad. He wanted to hate Jeremy but for some reason he just loved him more.

Michael tried to control his breathing, but was futile. He started gasping for breaths. He couldn’t breathe. He felt bile ride up in his throat and barely made it to the toilet.

After a good couple of minutes of puking his guts out he didn’t even bother looking in the toilet. He knew what it was. Just a mixture of food and petals with a pinch of blood. 

Michael sat there, finally catching his breath. He realized he had been crying uncontrollably. No matter how much he rubbed his eyes they wouldn’t stop. 

That’s when he heard screaming. The screams of teenagers rang through his ears. They were screaming fire but Michael didn’t even bother to move. He just was limp in front of the sink.

He then shot up to someone breaking the door down. That person was Jake Dillinger and he made no time to grab Michael and head to the top of the roof of the house.

“You’re going to have to jump!” Jake yelled to Michael, holding an unconscious Rich on his back.

Michael shook his head frantically but Jake wasted not time to push Michael off and then jumping off himself.

Michael, with his luck, landed in bushes but Jake got the worst of it. It was for a second but Michael remembers Jake’s legs were pointing in different directions.

And luckily for Michael again all eyes were on Jake and Rich. Michael felt guilty but he ran away from the house. He should’ve stayed but he was just too scared to.

————————————

What Rich and Jake saw was horrific. There was so much flowers and petals everywhere. Not to mention blood and stomach acid.

Michael was leaning against the stall wall, blood dripping down his mouth. “Michael!” Rich walked up to Michael and out both hands on his shoulders. “Michael, oh my god, say something!”  
Rich shook him. 

Michael’s eyes twitched open. He could barely make the outline of Rich’s body. “Rich?” Michael blinked away the blurriness in his eyes. What happened? He looked to his right at Jake whose face was lit with fear and concern. Than to his left and saw the heaping pile of flowers and petals in the toilet.

“Oh thank fucking god you’re okay!” Rich squeezed Michael in a bone crushing hug. Rich let himself go to look Michael in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“So what now?” Michael asked in a quiet voice, making Rich and Jake freeze in place. “So are you gonna leave and tell the whole school about this? Are you gonna leave me now you know that I’m more of a freak that you thought?”

Rich and Jake looked shocked at what Michael said. Michael’s face grimaced, not wanting an answer. “No.” Jake said in a almost demanding tone. “Why the fuck would we leave you when you need us most?”

Michael clenched his teeth. “Spare me your pity.” He whispered. “Don’t you see? I’m a freak! Why would you want to hang out with me now? Because of Jeremy? You never even acknowledged me until him! You two would always bully me! So why now?!” Michael’s mind was still fuzzy but he could make out the tears that were coming from him. “I wish you would’ve just left me to die in that fire.”

After that time stood still for a couple of seconds.

Than a very loud slap rang through. You could’ve probably heard it from outside.

Michael’s eyes widened as his face was looking in the direction which rich had just slapped. There was definitely gonna be a handprint.

“Don’t you ever dare say that a-fucking-gain!” Rich yelled, both surprising Michael and Jake to look in Rich’s direction. “Or I swear to god I’ll slap some sense into your stupid fucking skull.” Rich now had tears brimming his eyes. “Don’t you ever wish for yourself to die again, you hear me?!” Rich demanded, which made Michael nod his head frantically.

“I’m sorry.” Rich said pulling his hand off of Michael’s hoodie from where he was grabbing them. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I never once stopped to think of you before. I’m sorry for bullying you. I’m sorry for not noticing you’ve been in pain this whole time.” Rich was now sobbing holding onto Michael, burying his face in his shoulder.

“Rich, it’s not your fault.” Michael said patting his back and glancing s Jake to help.

Jake walked up and put a hand on Rich indicating to stop. Rich pulled back again, rubbing his tears and snot away.

“I should apologize too. Just because you didn’t fit in with our standards before doesn’t meant we should’ve bullied you because of it.” Jake apologized. 

Michael was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say now?

“How long?” Rich asked in a quiet tone.

Michael looked at Rich and Jake who were both waiting for answers. He sighed and stood up, leaning slightly on the door for support.  
“5 years.”

Rich tensed and Jake gave him a sad look. “It Jeremy isn’t it?” Jake asked, not even needing an answer.

Michael nodded.

Rich looked like he was gonna cry again. “Listen you guys… I know I’m dying but I don’t want you guys to feel sad. It’s nothing you can fix.”

Rich shook his head frantically. “Why don’t you tell him?” Rich asked, grabbing onto Michael’s sleeves once more. 

“I can’t. I don’t want to hurt him.” Michael answered. 

“It will only hurt him more if you die one day and figured out himself. You need to tell him. Both for his sake and yours.” Rich pleaded. “Please, I know you consider Jeremy your best friend but to me your mine. I can’t lose you.”

Jake put his hand a Rich’s shoulder again. “It’s not our call Rich, we can’t control what Michael does and doesn’t do.” Jake looked around the stall.  
“You should go to the nurse’s office with Rich. I’ll clean this up.” 

“I can’t make you clean this up.” Michael said trying to walk to the couple but got instantly hit with a wave of nausea.

“Good thing you aren’t making me.” Jake smiled. “Besides class is gonna end soon so you better hurry if you don’t want to get caught. Well get caught by Jeremy. The second class lets out you know he’s gonna bolt out looking for you.”

Michael knew that Jake was right about that.  
“Come on, Jake will take care of it.” Rich grabbed Michael’s hand to lead him out of the bathroom.  
“I’ll come help you after I drop him off.”

Jake just nodded. Rich let Michael lean on him slightly for support. Michael is a bit taller than Rich but only by an inch.

They walked in silence the whole walk to the nurses office. Rich stopped in front of the door. “Michael, I know it’s not my choice on whether or not you confess to Jeremy or not but I’m only asking you this. Tell him. I don’t care when I don’t care how. Just don’t let him find your dead corpse covered with flowers only to make him realize he was the cause of his best friends death.” 

Michael started at Rich but He didn't look back.

They walked in and explained to the nurse that Michael had a really bad stomach bug that let him off early. Luckily he could still drive home.

Rich waved Michael goodbye and presumably left to help Jake. Michael would’ve felt bad but he just considered it pay back for bullying him.

As Michael left the building he heard the bell ring, indicating that his class was over. Hopefully Rich and Jake would be done by the time Jeremy came looking for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made at this 3am


	5. Chapter 5

Michael groaned as he fell face first on his bed.  
A lot of thoughts was rolling through his head at the moment, which made since because two of his friends now knows of his problem.

Michael rolled over on his back, looking up at the ceiling. What was they gonna do now? He trusts them enough to keep his secret but knowing that Jeremy would be pressuring them for questions made him think of what they would say.

That he was sick? Jeremy would probably kill him for coming to school. Jeremy has and always will be protective of his health. Well other than that time with the squip, but Michael just wants to forget that.

Michael put his headphones on and played random music again, snuggling into his nest of blankets and closed his eyes. Puking up flowers makes a person very tired. He let himself doze off and let the dark abyss bring him into his well-awaited slumber.

——————————

“M-Michael! Get down from there! Y-you’re gonna get yourself hurt!” Michael looked down from where he was to his best friend, Jeremy. “Please!”

Michael snickered at him. “Stop being so overprotective all the time, it’s not like I’m in any danger.” He replied, holding onto a nearby branch for support.

“Michael, you are sitting in a tree over 15 feet off the ground, of course I’m gonna worry!” Jeremy yelled, making Michael laugh.

“So, you’re gonna worry if I do this?” Michael asked, standing up in the tree, letting go of the branch he was using for support. He was now standing on a branch with his arms held high.

Jeremy’s face was consumed with worry and fear.  
“M-M-M-Michael! Please stop! You’re gonna fall off!”

Michael considered it, but he wanted to tease his friend a little more. He started climbing higher. Jeremy let out a yelp, probably for him to stop. Once he finally got to the other branch above him he stood up on that one also. “See Jer, nothing to worry about. I’m perfectly fine, see?” Michael put his hands to his hips.

“Please Michael, just get down already.” Jeremy was almost crying. Michael felt guilty.

“Fine, I’ll get down.” He groaned in a fake annoyance. He was actually scared of being up so high. He was only 10 after all. He also saw Jeremy sigh with a relief.

He looked down and he realized he didn’t know how to get down. He gulped and grabbed onto the tree for support.

As he was slowly crouching down he almost fell backwards, making him stop and clutch into the tree.

“Michael?! Are you okay?! S-Should I go get help?” Jeremy asked, he was practically shaking for fear that his best friend may fall off.

“N-No! I’m alright, I can g-get down b-by myself.” He stuttered out. He wasn’t just scared, he was terrified. But he had to pretend like he was fine so he didn’t worry Jeremy.

He slowly crouched down again, placing both hands on the branch beneath him. He lowered himself onto another branch, and then another.

He was less than 5 feet off the ground now, just a little more. When he lowered himself onto the branch he felt the ground tremble.

An earthquake? Seriously? What unfortunate timing Michael thought as he lost his footing and fell face first into the ground. 

Jeremy rushed over to him in a heartbeat, lifting up Michael’s head, which was covered in blood. Jeremy started crying. “Michael?! M-Michael!”

“Michael!”

——————————

“Michael!” Michael instantly sprung up, almost hitting the person beside him. “Oh thank god you’re okay.” The voice said.

Michael looked to the person beside him, and luckily for him it was none other than Jeremy.  
“J-Jeremy? Why are you here? Aren’t you suppose to be at school?” He asked, a little bit tense after his accident at school.

Jeremy looked confused for a split second before shaking his head. “School ended not to long ago. But when Rich told me you were sick I ran over as fast as I could.” He answered. 

Michael blinked for a bit. He grabbed his phone, which stopped playing music long ago, to look at the time. It was already 5? He had been asleep for longer than for hours?

“Don’t think you’re getting out of this one, Michael.” Jeremy said in a mother hen tone. “What were you thinking of coming to school sick? You need as much rest as you can.” 

Michael laughed in a slightly raspy voice. “I’m feeling better Jer, honestly.” He was feeling better than before he had his nice nap, well other than having pounding headache that is.

Jeremy’s face made the ‘I know you better than you know yourself look’. He sighed before grabbing Michael’s head and leaned his forehead on his. 

Michael’s face instantly flushed and Jeremy’s had a slight pink tint to it.

“Michael, you’re obviously burning up.” Jeremy pulled back, got up and left the room before coming back in with a thermometer. “Here.”

Michael grabbed the thermometer and put it in his mouth. After a minute of an awkward silence it started beeping. Before Michael could even think to grab it Jeremy snatched it from his mouth.

“So, what’s the damage.” Michael asked hesitantly.  
If he had a fever Jeremy would go mother mode on him a try to feed him soup. Again.

Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed. “102.4.” He replied. Michael wished he threw that thermometer out when he had a chance. “That’s it! You’re going to be staying in bed until your fever goes down️. No playing game, or smoking weed️. No getting up!”

“Jer, I’m gonna need to get up and use to bathroom.” Michael said laying down as Jeremy tucked him into bed. “And besides I have school tomorrow, I can only miss so many days.”

“You can worry about school tomorrow, but right now I’m gonna take care of you.” Jeremy stated. His eyes was piercing into Michael’s. 

“Fine.” He sighed, giving up. No use in fighting. Jeremy had gotten more and more protective after the squip-cident, once again, not like Michael was complaining.

Jeremy smiled and left the room, probably to get some medicine from the bathroom.

That’s when Michael remember he never cleaned up his little petal mess early that morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Jeremy was walking down the stairs from Michael’s room to the closest bathroom, which happened to be the guest.

Just as he was about to open the door he heard loud stomping from the left of him. He looked up to see Michael coming at him at full speed and before he could think he was tackled to the ground.

“M-Michael? What hell did you do that for?” Jeremy asked, slightly sitting up and winced as he felt a pain in his head. He looked down to see Michael’s arms wrapped around his waist. He totally didn’t blush at that.

Michael realized what he was doing at sat up abruptly almost hitting his head on Jeremy’s chin. “Sorry! I-it’s just that I realized I hadn’t cleaned the bathroom in a while and-and…” Michael looked at Jeremy who wasn’t at all paying attention to what he was saying, he was just beet red. “W-What?”

Jeremy covered his face with his hands. “Michael please move.” He mumbled. Michael looked down to see that he was straddling Jeremy.

After a few seconds Michael yelped and pushed himself backwards, if he could see his own face right now he would probably look like a tomato.

“Sorry, I just, have to be in here.” Michael stood up and back himself into the bathroom door. He opened and closed and locked it so fast Jeremy couldn’t even say anything.

“Michael? I don’t care if your bathroom is dirty! You need to rest!” Jeremy said trying to twist the knob.  
“Michael get it if this bathroom this instant!”

“Relax I just need to use the bathroom real quick.”  
He said, grabbing the petals and throwing them in the toilet. He also needed to clean the blood. “I’ll be out in a jiffy!”

“But you just said-!” Jeremy sighed and leaned besides the bathroom door. “Okay, I’ll be waiting right here for you to be done.”

Michael knew that Jeremy knew that he was lying. Besides it would be weird if he didn’t. Who stands in front of the bathroom waiting for someone to get done using it?

After a couple of minutes Michael flushed the toilet and washed his hands.

He opened the door and looked to Jeremy who was just staring at him with worried eyes. “A-all yours.” Michael tried to walk away but Jeremy grabbed his the hood of his hoodie.

“Michael, what were you really doing in there?” He asked, not letting go of Michael. And before he could make an excuse he was cut off “And don’t think about lying, I know when you are.”

Michael gulped. What was he gonna say? He couldn’t lie and if Jeremy kept persisting he was gonna give in. Michael was about to say something before Jeremy’s phone rang.

Jeremy let go of his hoodie and answered his phone. “Hello?”

Michael couldn’t really hear what the voice on the other end was saying but he knew who they were, which it was obviously Christine.

Michael took this time to sneak up back to his room while Jeremy was distracted.

Michael shut his door and laid on his bed again.  
He couldn’t help but envy Christine. She was dating a great guy. 

After laying there for sometime Jeremy came back with a wet rag, he also looked visibly upset about something.

“Hey Jer, w-what’s wrong?” Michael sat more up in his bed so Jeremy hand room to sit down. Jeremy didn’t answer, he just looked at Michael with strain in his eyes like he was trying to read him.  
“Uh, Jer?”

“Michael…. why didn’t you tell me?” Jeremy asked, looking into Michael’s eyes as if they would give him an answer.

Michael froze. Tell him what? Did… did he find out about the Hanahaki? What was he gonna say? He gulped. “T-tell you what?”

Jeremy’s eyes were still piercing into him. Jeremy looked away from Michael and took a deep breath. “I saw the pill bottles, Michael.” He then turned to face his best friend again. “Why didn’t you tell me you were depressed?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it seems rushed, I’m in the process of moving so I won’t be able to update in awhile after this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback of younger Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING

Michael held the blade over his wrist, his hand shaking as he did so.

He had been playing this for weeks so why is it now he is hesitant about doing this? 

“Come on Michael, it’s easy. Just, p-press down.” He pressed the blade down and slid it across, and when the pain hit him he tossed the knife on the other side of his bed.

“I... I did it.” Michael said looking at the blood dripping from his fresh, self-inflicted wound. He shouldn’t feel happy about this but he was. He also realized that it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.

Michael reached for the knife again.

After a while, Michael hadn’t realized how long he had been cutting for, with the pain now gone he had probably over done it.

He looked at his clock to see 5am. School would start in a couple hours. More than enough time to get his mess cleaned up so his mother doesn’t find it.

He went to the bathroom to treat his wounds, grabbing for the bandages and rubbing alcohol. 

After he finished wrapping himself up and rinsed the knife off in the sink, watched his blood flow down into the drain.

He then realized something important to him. If he wanted to walk with weren’t to school he better leave now.

Michael threw on his hoodie, grabbed his backpack and headed out the door. He missed breakfast, not that he really cared.  
He hasn’t had much of an appetite since the flowers showed up and invited themselves to live in his lungs for possibly the rest of his life.

Besides, no one would know. Jeremy never asked and his mother is never home to tell him to, that’s okay right?

Michael did his routine of walking with Jeremy to the bus stop, talking to him about random stuff. It was hard not to itch his wrist in front of Jeremy. He would ask questions.

“So, yesterday I told Christine a joke and she snorted at it! That was soo cute.” Jeremy told him.

“Are you sure she just wasn’t laughing at your stupid jokes?” Michael asked. Jeremy faked a look of offense.

“Michael, how could you? You always said my jokes were hilarious!” Jeremy said in a dramatic tone.

Michael smirked and played along. “I’m sorry Jeremy, I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” He said in an equally dramatic tone.

It took awhile for Jeremy to process what he said, but he laughed, and Michael laughed along with him.

“But seriously, I think people who snort at jokes at adorable.” Jeremy stated. 

And as if on cue when Michael laughed he snorted.

He froze as Jeremy’s mouth just opened.  
Michael felt his face heat up.

“Did you just-“

“NO! I didn’t.” Michael cut Jeremy off.

“Oh my god you did!” Jeremy was laughing while Michael was a blushing mess. “That was adorable, you snort at jokes. How have I not noticed before?”

“I didn’t snort!” Michael said, his face as red as a tomato. 

“Aww, Michael it’s okay.” Jeremy said in a baby voice. Jeremy started pinching Michaels cheeks. “You’re just a wittle baby.”

Michael laughed and started swatting Jeremy’s hands away. “Stop it.” Jeremy just made kissy faces at him, which made him blush but he just shoved his face away, making him kiss his hand.

Michael finally yanked Jeremy down with his arm to match his own height and started putting him in a choke-lock.

“Alright alright! I’ll stop!” Jeremy pleaded trying to yank himself out of Michaels grasp. 

“I’ll let you go if you promise to buy me some fro-yo later.” Jeremy nodded and Michael let go. Jeremy rubbed his neck in pain with slight tears to his eyes.

“Jesus man, you could’ve snapped my neck.” Michael laughed and patted him on the back.

As if on cue the bus arrived. “Just in time.” Michael said, and he and Jeremy walked into the bus.

The ride to school was uneventful, he mostly spaced out as the kids chattered away without a care.

Michael felt something moving in the bandaged which made it itch even more but he ignored it.

As the day went on it began to gradually worsen. Michael felt as if something was inside of his wrist, trying to claw its way out.

He was in the middle of class, one of which he and Jeremy didn’t share, which was very rare. It was also his last class for the day. He pushed his sleeve slightly down to see something thin and green prodding out of the bandages onto the palm of his hand.

After he sat there for the rest of the class only watching the clock and not paying any attention to the lesson.

Finally after what felt like an eternity the bell rang. Michael shoves everything into his bag and ran to the bathroom. This was an occurring thing for him apparently.

Michael unwrapped the bandages, letting them fall to the ground. He looked at his arm with a face mixed with shock and horror.

There was tiny flower buds and leaves sticking out of the scars, as if trying to heal his skin. To mend it back together.

Michael grabbed the tiny bud and pulled it out, which hurt him like hell. It was as if he was pulling his skin off.

He started picking them off, one by one.

After the most excruciating pain he’s ever felt in his life, he finally plucked all of them off. But somehow all the scars had had healed over, even though he had just cut himself how can they just heal over that quickly?

Michael was scared. He didn’t walk with Jeremy. Instead when he went home he told his mom.

About how he was feeling depressed and cut himself and how the flowers healed him.

Ever since then he had been going to therapy, taking pills, and he was never allowed to be near sharp objects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you or anyone you know is suicidal please get help. Tell someone you can trust, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a teacher.
> 
> if you’re uncomfortable to talk to anyone try imalive.org, it’s free and you get the help you need.


End file.
